If there’s anything that I’ve learned from observing my parents 60 years of marriage, experiencing my own 30 year marriage, studying in a graduate program in clinical psychology and treating scores of couples in my counseling practice it’s this: the most important thing you can do for your partner is to be your best self.
The key to effective long-term relationships isn’t having two people say, do and think the same way. Shared interests and values between partners are important, but the key to successful relationships is the extent to which each partner is allowed to grow emotionally. A fully realized individual is capable of sharing power, tolerating differences, and nurturing growth without feeling threatened, suffocated or diminished.
Human beings are meant to grow throughout their lives. Yet people don’t advance at the same rate. When couples find themselves drifting apart or on a collision course, it can be helpful to pause, assess and set the course for a new future. It can sometimes be helpful to have a caring third party listen, advise and promote the growth of the couple.
Relationships take work. After 30 years of marriage, I know that’s true. If I’ve learned anything on this journey, it’s that one plus one equals three. There is you, there’s your partner and there’s the relationship. Each needs to be nurtured and each needs to grow.
My areas of experience:
Rebuilding trust after an affair
Couples impacted by addiction or in recovery
Midlife transitions and empty nest
If you are ready to take the next step in improving your relationship, please call me today at (916) 955-6420.